It has been a trying couple of weeks, with a ton of family obligations that necessitated too much guy time and very little Janie-ness.
It is always surprising what strange things leave their mark in my perceptions…
In the past couple of years, I have rarely had need of more than two pairs of pants and a few tops, since I wear male clothes quite sparingly, and so I had just been pretty much wearing out my few faves over time.
But with daily use, I had to delve further into his wardrobe. And, guess what? I have some nice stuff, and some of it is even bohemian enough to pull off with long hair.
Interestingly, though, my regular guy clothes – the ones I always wear, as opposed to the nice stuff I have almost forgotten – are really quite androgynous; I can pretty much rock them either way. It is usually the footwear that determines my gender – and even there, I have several pairs of shoes that no one could say for sure if they were men’s or women’s.
Riding that line between the genders, my needs change subtly from one day to the next, and there are obviously major parts of my male – and, come to think of it, also my female – wardrobe that can go either way.
Some days, I only need plausible deniability; others, I can’t afford to leave any doubt. The other day, every piece of clothing I wore (including my shoes) was from the women’s department, and yet I could still manage – with strangers – to be male with a straight face.
What makes this tightrope act all the more challenging is my attitude that I don’t want to come off as a feminine man or masculine woman. I don’t believe I am coming off that way – even with all this messing around with my wardrobe.
But, maybe I am fooling myself…